A Completely Random Yaoi Story
by Sirhc Semae
Summary: Axel meets Demyx after an unfortuante zombie incident, takes him under his wing and falls for him. HARD. But there's just one problem, he has competition. AkuDem, Zemyx.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, this is something I wrote one day during I.C.T. class. It is completely random. I don't know what I was thinking. Must have been high.  
But yeah...I uploaded it anyway.**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, if you dont like, then dont read. Dont read if you cant stand randomness.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own any of the Kingdom Hearts characters.**

**Chapter One**

Once upon a time, there was a fat ugly man living in a castle. But we don't care about him. This story will focus on a bright little boy called Demyx. Now, Demyx lived happily with his four brothers and sisters, his mommy and his daddy. They had a nice little house in the country that was quite far away from any town so no one ever bothered them. But you see, the problem with living so far away from everything and not having any means of communication, aka telephone, was that when something went wrong, there would be no one to help them. And something did go wrong.

One day, while they were happily drinking tea around the fire, a mob of foul smelling, putrid zombies barged into the house and demanded for all the money and jewels that they had. Demyx's mum was very attached to her jewellery, so she told them to bugger off and rob someone else. The zombies weren't very bright, but they knew an insult when they heard one. And this was definitely not something they were going to take lying down. So they growled furiously (yes, zombies growl) and warned the happy family that they were very hungry from their trip and wanted the money to buy some hamburgers. But she still refused,

"No! I will die before anyone gets their hands on my jewellery!"

The zombie leader then thought up a wonderful plan. "Why don't we just eat them? Then we won't have to steal their money and buy hamburgers!"

"Yeah, good idea boss! I looooove brains…."

The family could not understand what they were saying, because they did not know how to speak zombie, so they had no clue of what was about to happen to them. The zombies stared at them, lust and hunger in their eyes and in minutes, they had devoured all but little Demyx, who was crying in the corner."

"What shall we do with the little one?"

"I'm……way too….full….cant eat another bite…."

"Me too…."

"But his crying is so annoying….someone silence him…"

"You do it."

"No! You do it!"

"You!"

And so the five zombies stood there fighting over who was going to eat him because they were too full to be bothered eating him. This just sounded like moans and growls to Demyx of course. He kept crying, wondering why this had to happen to him, today of all days, because he was going to miss his favourite TV show.

Suddenly, a man with brilliant red hair and emerald green eyes burst into the room.

"Yo, sup people! Axel's in the house!"

The zombies screamed in terror when they saw him and ran away to rob a bank or two. Demyx just stared in wonder at the mega sexy man who had just appeared in his living room. He wiped the tears away on the corner of his sleeve before timidly asking, "W-who are you?"

"The name's Axel, Got it memorized?"

Taken aback by the mans strange speech pattern, he merely nodded.

"So, like, watcha doing on the floor?"

"Um...well, those zombies just ate my family."

"Did they now?"

"Uh huh."

"That doesn't explain why you're sitting on the floor."

"Yes it does!"

"No it doesn't!"

"It does!"

"I say it doesn't and I'm hot, so what I say goes."

"Fine! But you're not _that_ hot!"

"I'm the world's hottest man." He pulled out a magazine from his pocket and held it up proudly. "See? Axel Maxwell, voted worlds hottest man, thanks to the 'Worlds Hottest Men' magazine, with a total of 50 000 000 votes." He shoved it Demyx's face with an I-told-you-so grin.

"...I don't care what some stupid magazine and 50 000 000 people say! I still think that I've seen hotter."

"Yeah? Who then?!"

He sighed dreamily before continuing, "Zexion Williams..."

"Huh? Oh him...that emo singer."

"Oh yeah...he's sooooooooooo sexy...I saw him once at the shops, and he...walked right past me. It was like so amazing!"

"Pssh. Fanboy. That's so pathetic." Axel put on a tough boy look, but deep down he was deeply hurt by the boy's reaction. You see, he found Demyx to be quite attractive-but not as attractive as Roxas, his other friend.

"Someone like you wouldn't understand!"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Hmph. Exactly my point."

"Whatever! I'm leaving now."

"Noooooooooooooo! Don't leave meeeeeeee! I don't have anywhere to go!"

He glanced over at Demyx and when he saw the sad puppy face he was pulling, his expression immediately softened. "Fine...You can come."

"Yay!Omgthankssomuchyouwontregrethelpingmei'llmakeituptoyousomehow,youaresokind,omgi'mhungry,iwantsomefoodletsgoSHOPPING!!"

"Whoa, sow down, I can't understand you dude."

"So sorry…I said that I was hungry…."

"Oh, okay. Let's go get some chow then."

"Yahoo! I want Ramen!"

"What? I'm not in the mood for ramen…"

"RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN!!"

"Okay, okay, we'll get some ramen…"

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"

He sighed and followed the skipping Demyx out the house and to his car. When he saw how the blonde reacted upon seeing his totally sick ride, he merely shook his head in amusement. Taking care of this boy was going to be hell. But at the same time, he knew he would enjoy it. His life hadn't been this interesting for a _long_ time.

"Hey, wait up kid!"

"My name's not kid! It's Demyx!"

"Alright then, _Demyx_, take it easy or you'll hurt yourself."

"Will not!"

"Yeah, but I don't want anything happening to my car."

"Oh yeah…..your precious car…" He felt a little bit hurt but didn't show it.

'_I thought he was actually concerned about me then…maybe that's just wishful thinking.'_

"C'mon, let's get going!" Axel called out from the front seat of his Ferrari.

"Okie dokie." Demyx nodded and jumped into the passenger's seat.

'_Oh well, I have a feeling that I'll have a good time with this weirdo. And I have no where else to go and no more remaining family, so if I play my cards right, I might be able to convince him to let me live with him. That would be so awesome since he's mega rich! Imagine what I could do with all his money!!'_

He started drooling with a dreamy look on his face as he imagined a life where he was rich and everybody loved him.

Axel smiled when he saw him but thought he was only drooling because he was thinking about the ramen.

'_This kid must like ramen, A LOT.'_

"So…kid-ah…I mean Demyx…we're nearly there…so um…"

"……OMG!"

"What?!"

"I saw a cow!"

"………well, yeah…cows live in the country y'know…"

"Do they?!"

"Yeah…hey, you've lived in the country your whole life! Shouldn't you know that?!"

"Well……um…." He paused for a moment deep in thought. "I kinda didn't go outside…and we live further up in the mountains so cows don't visit us…"

"How come you never went outside?"

"…I don't know. I'm a little scared, I guess…"

"Scared of what exactly?"

"…My sister got eaten by a snake one day…so after that, mum didn't want us going outside anymore."

"Oh…well that sucks."

"But it's okay, because I ate the snake!"

"Why the hell would you eat a snake?!"

"Dunno…cause it ate my sister?"

"……right…let's talk about something else, shall we?"

"Okay! Did you know that sheep fly?"

"Huh? Sheep don't fly you idiot."

"Yes they do! I saw one!"

"Did you now?"

"Yes! It was flying and going 'wheeee'!!"

"…of course…"

'_Is this kid insane or something? I gotta ditch him real soon…'_

"Look, look, a butterfly! Yaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!"

'_Yep. He's definitely lost it.'_

"I'm huuuunngggrrrrryyyyyyyyyy……….."

"We're nearly there…"

"But I want food now! Axel, can I eat you?"

"No!"

"Awww, pleeeeeaaaaasseeeee?"

"No!!"

"Pretty please?"

"NO!"

"Pretty please with cherries on top?"

"NO!!"

"…you don't have to yell! Why are you so mean?!" He started crying and tried to open the door, wanting to jump out.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! We're going 100km/k! Are you trying to kill yourself?!" He grabbed the struggling Demyx and pulled him back inside the car.

"NOO! LET ME GO! SOMEBODY HELP!! I'M BEING ABDUCTED!!"

"SHUT UP YOU IDIOT!"

The passengers in the car next to them looked with a raised eyebrow. But it didn't bother them, since they had seen weirder. After all, they were members of the Yaoi Mafia.

By the time Axel had finally managed to calm down the hysterical Demyx, the car was lying in a ditch. It can be _very_ hard to control a car going so fast when you have a screaming kid kicking your face in.

"Look what you did to my car!!"

"I didn't do nothing. You were the one driving." He pointed out innocently.

"Grrr…..that's it! You can find someone else to annoy! I'm leaving!"

Thinking that he was only joking, Demyx didn't take him seriously. "How are you going to leave when you don't have a car?"

"I don't know! I don't care!! As long as I get away from you!" He stormed off in the direction of the nearest fuel station.

"Wait for me!" Demyx quickly followed. "I…said…wait!" He had to run to try and keep up with the furious redhead.

"Get lost! I meant what I said before!"

"…You did?"

"Yes!! I don't want to see you ever again!"

"…" He stopped walking and lowered his head, staring at the pavement.

"Finally!"

"……"

"Don't '…' me!"

**"………"**

"I said stop it!!" He turned around and nearly fainted from guilt when he saw the boy staring at him with silent tears streaming down his face.

"I-I'm sorry…Axel…kun…"

"I…I'm not…I'm not guilty! D-don't look at me like t-that…"

"……I'm sorry…"

"No……FOR PETE'S SAKE, STOP BLOODY CRYING!!"

"…sniff…"

At that moment, Axel was about to tear all his hair out and scream when a car pulled up next to him; the driver being the last person that he wanted to see right now.

"Picking on kids now, are we? And I thought you couldn't sink any lower Axel."

When Demyx saw the owner of the voice, his eyes immediately lit up; all previous tears disappearing. "T-that's…!!"

"Why hello, Demyx."

* * *

**Okay, dont say I didnt warn you. This is completely wierd. I dont know why I bothered to upload it...if anyone wants to read the next three chapters, I will upload them.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm so happy! Thank you to every one who reveiwed! You dont know how happy it makes me!! xDDD  
So, next three chapters will be uploaded. But warning, this story gets weirder as it goes along... o.O**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

"Ramen, ramen, ramen! Yummy, yummy, for my tummy! Yay!!"

"…Just eat it already!"

"Mrmmphm?"

"Don't talk with your mouth full!"

"Mrmmth…"

"Jesus!"

"Axel, leave him alone."

"Shut up you!"

"I don't have to."

"Yes you do! I said so, so…"

"MRPMTH!!"

"What?!"

"…mmm…" The blonde boy swallowed and took a deep breath before glaring at the redhead. "Don't talk to Zexion like that! You should be thanking him!"

"What the hell? No way! What's he done for me?"

"Well, he offered us a ride, paid for your car and bought us ramen! Show some respect!"  
"Pssh…so what?"

"Why you--!!"

"Leave him be, Demyx. It's no point arguing with someone as brainless as him."

The blonde almost melted in happiness when the lilac haired man put a hand on his shoulder and smiled softly at him.

"Yo, Zexy, don't smile. It doesn't suit you, emo boy."

"Axel…grow a brain."

"Already got one!"

"Then use it."

"Shut up!"

"RAMEN!!"

"What?!"

"You want more?"

Demyx smiled sheepishly at the two bickering adults and rubbed the back of his head apologetically. "No…I just wanted you two to stop fighting."

"I apologize. Sorry Demyx."

"N-no…you don't need to Zexion…It was Axel's fault anyway…"

Axel growled in annoyance at Zexions smooth tactics. How dare he just come onto the scene and steal his precious Demyx away from him. Yes, that's right, _his _dammit! He found Demyx first! Maybe he should just give up and run home to Roxas-who his older brother, Reno, was currently trying to seduce-but there was no way he was gonna let Zexion win. For Pete's sake, Zexion didn't even like Demyx! He was only doing this to annoy Axel. Zexion was never interested in little kids-he hated them. If only Demyx knew that…

"Hey, Zexion! Let's go to a theme park!"

"Whatever you wish, my little demy-kins."

Demyx blushed at his new nickname and then smiled innocently. "Will you go on all the rides with me?"

"Yes. And we have to make sure to get some fairy floss too."

"Yay!"

'Fairy floss?! Now wait a second…I distinctly remember Zexion telling me how much he despised fairy floss.' Axel thought grumpily.

"_I hate the stuff. It's so sticky and disgusting. Made purely of sugar and other horrible things which rot your teeth. Never want to touch it." _He had said that when they were a lot younger and were at the fair one day. After that day, Axel didn't want to be the boy's friend anymore-after discovering how bloody emo he was and how annoying, discouraging and negative he could be while at a theme park.

"Not to worry, soon Demyx will discover this for himself." Axel muttered to himself as the other two ran off towards the car.

"Axel-kun! Are you coming?"

"Yeah…"

"Well hurry up! Don't keep Zexion waiting!"

"Whatever…"

'_Zexion can wait for eternity for all I care…'_ Axel frowned and sat in the back of the car-Demyx had already taken the front passenger seat. _'Not like I wanna sit next to emo pants anyway…'_

"Look Zexion, it's a green and red bird!!"

"Yes, it's called a parrot. And I can't look right now; I'm driving."

"But it's pretty!! Looook at it!!"

Axel smirked as he watched the little boy pull at Zexions arm. He didn't fail to notice the anger rising in the emo singer either.

'_Oh, how fun. Just you wait Zexion. Soon you won't want anything to do with that boy. It's just a matter of time…'_

"Please release my arm! I don't want to crash this car!"

Demyx hardly seemed to be listening though. "Loook at the birdie-wirdy! Its soooo pretty! I wanna be a bird! Then I could fly everywhere, everyday, whenever I want!!"

"**Demyx**. If I crash this car, then we won't be able to go to Disneyland. Is that what you want?"

"Birdy-wirdy, birdy-wirdy, why do you flyyyyy? Huh? Why can't we go to Disneyland?!" The boy cried out, only having heard the last part of his sentence.

"We can't go there if we don't have a car."

"Why don't we have a car?"

He sighed and shook his head. "We **won't** have a car if you don't release my arm so I can steer properly."

"Oh…I'm sorry! Forgive me Zexy!! Wahhhhhh!!"

"I forgive you, don't start crying…"

"….sniffle…"

Axel could barely hold back his laughter. This was so hilarious! It was obvious that Zexion wanted nothing to do with this boy.

"What's so funny Axel?"

"…T-that bird…" he choked out between laughs.

"OMG! BIRD? WHERE??"

"It's gone now…"

"Awwwww! I wanna see the birdy…Hey Zexy, do you think there will be birds at Disneyland?"

"I'm sure there will be."

"Awesome! Can we ask them for a photo?!"

"Uh…yeah…"

"Yay!! Disneyland, here we come!"

* * *

"This is so good! It's delicious!"

"Yes…" Zexion faked a smile as he stared at the glob of fluffy, pink fairy floss in his hand. "Completely worth it…"

Axel grinned before eating some of his own. "I just love this stuff! Don't you Zexy?"

"…of course." He glared back at Axel-knowing exactly what the redhead was up to.

"Well, if you love it _so _much, then why aren't you eating it?" Axel leered back.

"Stomach bug…I don't think I can eat anything…"

"Oh, are you okay?" Demyx quickly ran up to him. "Maybe we shouldn't have come…"

"No, its okay. I think I just had some off ramen or something. I will be fine. Just avoiding eating anything."

"Oh, that's such a shame." Axel teased. "I guess you won't be able to eat any Honeycomb Crunch Ice-cream later on…" He smirked at the mention of Zexions favourite ice cream flavour.

Zexion scowled and muttered grimly "I'm sure I'll be better by then."

"Yeah, wouldn't that be convenient?"

As Axels grin widened, Zexions scowl darkened. They shared a glaring contest for a couple of minutes until Demyx started whining about wanting to go on the rides-now that he had finished his fairy floss he was incredibly bored.

"Alright Demyx, lets go." The slate haired man said in a kind tone, but he never stopped glaring at Axel behind the boys back.

Once they had been on almost every single ride (Zexion looked close to fainting), Demyx dragged them along to the gift shop.

"Demyx…why are we here?" Zexion asked while frowning at all the fluffy toys on display.

"Aww, don't'cha know that its tradition to visit and buy something from a gift shop every time you go to a theme park? Poor Zexy's soooo clueless…" Axel smirked as he played with a Mickey Mouse plushie.

"Axel's right. You have to buy something! And I want a pretty hat! Zexion, buy me a hat!"

"…fine." He glared at Axel before turning back to the younger boy. "Which one do you want?"

"This one!" He proudly held up a black hat which had two giant circles coming off the side. "Then I'll be able to look like Mickey Mouse!"

"Alright then." As he paid for the hat, he fumed over how the boy always picked the most expensive items. _'Before the end of today, I'll be broke...no...It's not possible to spend over a million dollars at a theme park...'_

Oh how wrong he was.

* * *

**Its so short... TT.TT**

**Next chappie coming soon...**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm glad that so many people like this fic! I never expected it! xD  
Thank you so much for reveiwing!**

**This story actually makes me laugh, because I prefer the Zemyx pairing than AkuDem and I really love Zexion, but I made him into a jerk in this story. And I really dont know why. xD**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"But I want it!!"

"Demyx……I'm sure you can live without owning a Super-Dooper-Happy-Fun-Rainbow-Coloured-Tissue-Box." Zexion sighed and tried to drag the boy away from the incredibly gay tissue box.

"Noooo! I want it! I have to have one or I'll never be happy!!"

"But look how expensive it is…"

"I don't care! You're rich right?! So buy it!"

"…No. And that's final."

Demyx burst into tears, kicked him in the shins and ran over to where Axel was sitting. "Axxxxeeeellll!! Zexion's being mean!!"

"Hm?" Axel quickly looked up from the paper he was reading and frowned when he saw Demyx. "Aww…Poor Demy. Reducing a child to tears in a theme park? I didn't know you could sink that low Zexy." He smirked as Zexion gave him a look of pure loathing that could out do Vincent Valentine's evilest of glares. "Come on, Demy. What was it you wanted to buy?" He let the little boy lead him over to the stall of gay tissue boxes and bought the one he wanted. "There. Better now?"

"Yes! Thanks Axel-kun. But…It doesn't come with tissues…"

"Of course not. We'll get some later okay?"

"Okay! Let's go to the haunted house next!"

"Sure. Do you still want Emo Boy to come?"

"I guess so. But he has to make it up to me!"

Zexion sighed and followed the two towards the next destination while whishing he wasn't doing this, but at the same time, not wanting to let Axel win.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

"Ahahahaha! This is soooooo awesome! And what's with this dude? Why doesn't he have a head?"

"Maybe he was hit bit a train?" Axel suggested.

"Idiot! If he was hit by a train, then his whole body would be compacted! He wouldn't have just lost his head." Zexion snarled at the redhead.

"Well, you never know. Don't get so uptight emo man. Jeez…"

"Yeah, Zexy! Why are ya so grumpy all of a sudden? Aren't you enjoying yourself?"

"…I am. Enjoying…myself."

"Really? You don't sound like you are…Oh! I get it!"

"Huh? Get what?"

"You're scared of haunted houses aren't you? I'm so sorry Zexy, I didn't realise!"

At this, Axel burst out laughing. "Zexy, afraid of ghosts and goblins?! This is to damn good!"

"I am not afraid."

"It's okay Zexion. I'm here for you." Demyx grabbed his hand and smiled at him reassuringly. "Don't worry, the exit is right over there."

Zexion looked horrified at the situation that he was in, but then he turned and smirked at Axel while mouthing the words, 'I'm holding his hand and you're not.'

"Hey Demy…"

"Yeah Axel?"

"Y'know…I'm really scared too. I don't like these sort of places. Can I hold your hand too?"

"Of course! Man, why didn't you guys say something before? If I knew you where scared, then I wouldn't have suggested that we come in here…"

However the two older men didn't hear anything that he was saying, because they were too busy glaring at each other, daring the other to let go first.

"Look guys, it's the exit! Let's go get some more ice cream. And hopefully we'll see some birds!! Yay for birdie wirdy!"

"Finally." Both men said in unison.

* * *

"Didn't you already have ice cream?" The redhead asked.

"Yeah, but I want more! I have to try every single flavour they have!"

"Okie dokie then. I want more too. But Zexy's buying!"

Zexion groaned in annoyance, but didn't complain. Did they even realise how much he had spent on them already?

'_Maybe I should just stop this whole thing now…But I can't let Axel win. I just can't! That's it…I need to think up a new strategy to get rid of him once and for all. What can I do that will make Demyx want to be with me forever?' _He spent the next ten minutes in deep thought, not even noticing how much Axel and Demyx's ice creams were costing him.

"Um…Demyx? Is…that…edible?" Axel asked careful as he backed away from the boy and the gigantic ice cream he was holding. It looked like it had every single flavour available on it-which it probably did.

"Of course! It's so yummy!"  
"Is it?"

"Yep! Yummy yummy yummy for my tummy!"

"Rightio then…I think I'll stick with my five flavour ice cream thanks."

"You're so weird Axel."

"And you're not?"

"Nope!"

"Okay then…Hey Dem, where do you want to go next?"

"Hmm…where haven't we been yet?"

"Dunno…lets see. We've been on all the rides, done the haunted house, eaten every single ice cream there is, been in all the candy shops and the gift shop…what does that leave?"

"The Ferris Wheel!"

"Oh yeah! How could we forget about that? To the Ferris Wheel!"

"Yay!" The blonde boy quickly ran after Axel while Zexion reluctantly followed while muttering about how much he hated redheads.

* * *

"Wow! Its sooo high up!!" Demyx ran back and forth, from window to window, making it wobble dangerously. "Look, it even moves!"

"Demyx…please don't do that…" Zexion pleaded in almost a whisper.

"What's wrong Zexy? Not afraid of heights, are we?" Axel smirked.

"What on earth would make you think that Axel?"

"Well, you do look kinda pale." He replied.

"Must be your imagination."

"No…I think not."

Zexion glared at him before crossing his arms and turning away. "Excuse me for not liking being in an unstable compartment that is currently extremely high up and could fall down any second."

"It wont fall ya know."

"It very well could. These are built horribly and if he keeps wobbling it like that, then it could fall and we would all die."

Axel chuckled and shook his head. "You're such an idiot Zexy."

"Don't call me an idiot, you dimwitted asshole."

Demyx gasped and stared at the man in shock. "Zexy said a bad word!"

"Oh, grow up!" He snapped.

"Hey, don't take this out on him!" Axel snarled.

"No one asked you, so stay out of it!"

"Oh yeah? Make me!"

"Fine then! You asked for it!"

Demyx watched in horror as the two men started fighting an all out brawl. He didn't dare interrupt or try to stop them, because then his beautiful face would get smashed along with any hopes of becoming a model when he was older. He did however; notice the extreme wobbling of carriage. "Uh…guys?" No matter how hard he tried to get there attention, they kept fighting, smashing the doors off the carriage as they did so.

"Guys…I really…think you should…stop that now…GUYS!"

After screaming at the top of his lungs, the two older men calmed down and stared at him in shock.

"What the hell?"

"Demyx, mind not using that hypersonic voice of yours?" Axel cringed and rubbed his ears.

Demyx cleared his throat and laughed nervously. "Why don't you look around?"

"Huh?"

"Eh?"

They both looked at the carriage and paled when they saw they condition it was in. All the windows were completely smashed, the doors had fallen off and it looked like it would fall at anytime, because the metal framework holding it up had been bent from all the wobbling of the carriage.

"Oh crap. This sucks big time." The redhead frowned as he examined the damage. "Wonder how much it'll cost to fix."

"Is that your only worry?! Don't you get it! It could fall at any time!"

"Whoa…calm down dude. It's not gonna fall man."

"Yes it is!" He looked like he was about to have a panic attack as he fell to the ground clutching his head while awaiting the impact of the carriage hitting the ground.

"Um…emo man? Maybe you should take a chill pill…"

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! We're all gonna die and its all your fault!!"

"I don't wanna die…" Demyx cried.

"We're not going to die and its not my fault! It's yours for starting this whole thing!"

"It's your fault Axel!!"

"Is not!" The redhead went to punch Zexion again, but that one movement made the carriage unstable and the bars holding it snapped, leaving the carriage and three people inside to plummet to the ground.

* * *

**Uh yeah, I know that that probably wouldnt happen in real life, but hey, it's a fanfic, cut me some slack.**


End file.
